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matt: good morning, front desk. this is matt...how can i help you, mr. x?
mr. x: hey matt. is there like a joseph a banks or something around here i can buy a suit?
(internal unspoken conversation: matt: um.....it's 4:21am. no. no there isn't.)
matt: um...well, there are a few options in the area. there is a j.a.b. down at dupont circle and another at metro center. there is also a macy's down there. or if you wanted to head up to friendship heights metro, there is a filene's basement and a few other choices of places...just depending on what you're looking for.
mr. x: i'm looking for a suit.
matt: right i just mean....
mr. x: for an awards ceremony tomorrow night.
(i.u.c. matt: hey moron, didn't you think about that before you left home?)
matt: right. i just meant depending on if you cared about the brand or where you bought it.
mr. x: what time do they open?
matt: let me look that up for you. [internet research begins] it looks like filene's basement opens at 10am.
mr. x: whoa. 10? no...that's too late. anything earlier?
matt: let me keep looking. [internet research continues] well, the j.a.b. down at 11th and F st opens at 9am.
mr. x: hmmmm...man....i don't know....
(i.u.c. matt: sir...where are you from that suit stores open before 9am?)
matt: oh....it looks like there is a joseph a banks at reagan national airport that opens at 7am.
mr. x: hmmmm...do they have the normal inventory of a regular store?
(i.u.c. matt: well they did last time i was there suit shopping at 7am...but i guess that's a good question....you really never can tell.......)
matt: that is a great question...i'm not sure. but, i can give you their phone number and you could give them a call.
mr. x: it's pretty early. they probably aren't there yet.
matt: well, i mean when they open at 7am.
mr. x: yeah...i guess i could do that. what's the number?
matt: 703. 418. 8180.
mr. x: great. and nothing else you know of in the immediate area, huh?
(i.u.c. matt: well, except for the 2 early-morning men's suit stores across the street from us here which open at 4:30am that i wasn't going to tell you about...nope...nothing else....)
matt: nope...nothing i can think of.
mr. x: alright matt. well, i'll give them a call and hopefully i can figure something out. gnite.
matt: gnite, mr. x.
9 comments:
You don't have a Men's Wearhouse around there? You could have recommended it and said, "You're going to like the way you look. I guarantee it."
Hmmm, I've been looking for a way to help bring in a little more cash around here. Maybe opening an all night men's suit shop is the way to go...
are you sure he wasn't asking about "suits"? as in "nearest available escort?
Love it!
You + Blogging again = The best day of my life. Yes, my life is that sad.
This reminds me of that one episode of "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody." You ever watch that show?
There is part of this scenario that you were unaware of and you might have been had you asked the question:
Matt: "Sir, did you forget your suit at home?"
Mr. X: "Ha! No, that would have been silly. There actually is a giant stain on the suit that I brought."
Matt: "Oh! Well we might have some cleaning supplies down here that could help you."
Mr. X: "That would be great! But I might need a lot. The stain pretty much covers the entire front of my jacket and pants."
Matt: "Well let me see what we have. What kind of stain is it?"
Mr. X: "Blood. Well, not MY blood of course 'cause if I lost THIS much blood I wouldn't be able to be here talking to you, now would I?"
Matt: (beat) (beat) *click*
Ahhh, Matt, thanks so much for the laugh!!!
He could have wondered the streets and knocked someone out who he could fit in thier suit.
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